I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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