They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
