I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
