I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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