So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
