Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you never un-have a 4some
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
