suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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