you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
