A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I supernannyed him into submission
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
