I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
