i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
now i know why i became what i already was.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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