hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
