He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
