Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
