He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
