shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
