Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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