i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
