If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize