i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she smelled like a LAN party
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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