I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
whose parrot is this?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
