Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
