Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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