Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
