Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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