he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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