I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
