I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
