I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
