just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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