At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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