So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
