did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
