I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
