would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
