o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
