It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
