so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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