I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
