Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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