Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize