Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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