I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
