I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Rumble strips road head = magical
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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