Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
