Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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