I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you traded sex for a burrito?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
