She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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