Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
