PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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