let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
