I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
time to smoke my breakfast
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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