He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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