I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
