Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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