Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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