By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
