i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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