I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
