? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
