my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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