Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
