I cockslap morals
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
