He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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