this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
