new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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