i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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