just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
