You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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